Childhood memory II

Well.. Dad use to bring me to every place but i will forget where is that place, then when i go there people will tell you this.. you had been here bofore and my reaction is really mehhs? I don't remember! LOLs.


I had been to singapore zoo, changi airport ,bird park,sentosa.. These are the place i had been to and i remember when i was in kindergarten i hate going school then my dad brought my mum and i then when we were outside  i say i wanted to go toilet then my dad drop my mum and i outside a hotel then asked me to go to the toilet, whe i was walking i saw Chen Han Wei, to me is wow actor but whre is the toilet!! hahas. somemore he shake hand with my dad okays! He never shanke hand with me larrhs cause i wanna go toilet urgenly go i never shake hand with him what a weast man!!


Well i only remember this much, i can't remember what i had done before maybe i will remember bit by bit when i look into the photo. Sounds like i lost my memory before. CHOY!! no larrhs i didn't is just that my memory is nto that good, photo will help to gain back memorise but not all memory!


End~


Love Nana
xoxoxo

Childhood memory

I don't really remember my childhood memory that well maybe it happen too long ago or maybe i don't put much effort to remember. Kinda weird as people ask me about what happen in my childhood i like don't know what to say to them and the answer i get from them is this.

Let's name the person who ask me as A, here it goes,
A: Hey nana when you were young your dad got bring you go to the zoo?
Me: Duh.. I love to go t the zoo when i was young okays! Just to see favorite animal  flamingo when i was 4-5 years old and i use to call it 一支脚( one leg).
A: Wow.. Then have you been to changi airport?
Me:Yupps! I have been to changi airport when i was about  4-5 month cause i don't want to sleep at night so my father bring my family and i go to  changi airport hahas......
A: Did your father teach you any special thing?
Me: Hmmm.. my father teach me how to speak hokkien and also sing song and i still remember the song e use to sing and teach me when i was young..
A: Okay.

Wonder why i still  remember? Easy, i got photo of course i remember but if ask some more i might not remember!

I still remember when i was young he also used to call me 饭桶 in english we call in rice bucket.. Then i will call my dad water bucket or beer bucket! hahas, this is what i had done when i was young..

This is what i remember so far, so will update more on my childhood in the next post!

Love Nana
xoxoxo.

Recover!

Yupps. They had recover thanks dad.. :))

Just thinking back at the time when you leave us, i took a very long time to recover as i can't believe that its real and its seems like it was just a nightmare.

But everytime i wake up in the morning to go school i just want to see you seating at the kitchen drinking your coffee and eatting the bread.. This is what i use to see every morning when i wake up before you left us.. I remember you will keep on calling me to help you do things but i also don't want to help and keep on nagging for nothing just to help you do things...

I know this will happen but i don't expect it to be so fast i though, i just wish i can spend more time with you and talk to you as you always busy working when i was young.. When you reach home i will be either sleeping or i was in school, so we don't spend much time together..

Just to say this to you: Dad we miss you can you come and visit us in our dream? Thank you for watching over them and let them recover as soon as possible..

Love Nana
xoxoxo

Again .

Well calyton and javier had recover.. Now its leroy turn, please look after him okay..

I just don't know why so many of them is getting sick but not me. I feel like getting sick so i can slim down in this way... hahas. Stupid right, but please look after them no matter what

I just want them to recover so that they can go out and play but no just staying at home as they are sick..

So let them recever soon..

Love Nana
xoxoxo

Have you go around the world?

Have you gone around the world by yourself? How is it? Is it fun?


I wish you can enjoy yourself. Your grandson had recover,i know that you had been watching over them and let them recover soon..


Dad i just want you to enjoy yourself in heaven and no worry for us, we know how to take care of ourselves, so don't need to worry so much..


I wish you had gone to many palce and had a wonderful trip by yourself or maybe with grandpa and grandma, as they tag along with you so that you won't feel alone...


Dad do come to my dream tell me how are you i really miss you..


Love Nana..
xoxoxo

Please look after them!

Dad, Your grandson javier is having fever after his injection so please take care of him okay he just three months old only i know that after this injection sure will get fever so please look after him no matter what okay.. :))


And one more thing, your another grandson clayton is recovering well now he can eat properly already unlike few weeks ago don't want to eat and keep on vomite after eating, he still haven gone to school yet so please look after him also..


Dad you have to watch over us now as you are in heaven and i know you had been taking care of us this two year and i still want you to take care of us...


Dad have you go around the world? You didn't travel overseas when you are around and i wish you did it when you go to heaven.. Go to the palce you want and enjoy yourself there.. You also need to watch after us okay..


Love you dad..
xoxoxo

Missing Letter

Sorry for not writting yesterday!! Was busy praying as it was seven month, so was busy.

Dad are you looking at us when we are home cause sometime we feel that you are at home so we know that you came home before, you know that we miss you and came back at us.

Do you know that we had a new member to join us in our home three months ago? I bet you know cause you came back and see him.. Yes it was third sis son, your fourth grandson his name is javier.. You did play with him uhhs, cause sometime i will see him laugh by himself and i was thinking that you are palying with him and please when he is alsleep don't disturb him okay don't wake him up.. hahas. you can play with him in his dream..

I gave him see your picture but i think he is still young and now the thing he see not so clear yet so maybe when he is older i'll show him the picture of you agian.. And he already know how to call daddy he says da-di and he also know how to call mummy as well as ah-yi.. he don't know how to call mum ah ma yet he still learning but he kno whow to say don't know in hokkian! OMG! he so smart lorrhs..

Dad do you know that i yesterday fell outside the doorstep so pain in hurt my leg and my butt, wonder why and how i fell down i didn't even know how i fell also pain till max okay. And dad your granbson clayton and felix is sick can you look after then and let then recover fast? Cause they need to go school to study, their exam is round the coner too...

Do come to our dream and tell us how are you!
Miss you!!
xoxoxo

How are you?

Dad how are you? You had not been in my dream the last time i dream of you is after you pass away not long and last year.. Now no more why? You don't miss us at all is it? Why have you not letting us dream of you?


I have question to ask you! But you not in my dream i ask already i also won't get any answer but even if i dream of you we also can't chat long as i will be awake for some unknown reason.. I wanna sleep longer so that we can chat but you like to choose to come to my dream when i'm almost going to wake up. How to chat longer?


Dad, you went to visit third sis and she told you she is married and she ask you do you know you answer her yes! you know! you went to elder sis dream and told her what you want but you come to me you only told me you want shoes. That's all you want i really want to talk to you in my dream..


Soon its going to be the third year you left us.. Still go seven month to go and it will be the third year, I keep telling myslf you will always be in heaven to look after us.. And everytime when people say about their family member this and that they will ask me this question, am i okay or not as they scare i might feel sad.. Of course i'm sad but i had to overcome as this had happen to me i did lost a father. So i must be strong to face other problem although i have lost you but i still have mum and sis, they will take care of me and mum as well as themselves and their family too..


Dad you are always the king in our home and mum will be the queen and we are your princess.. Just to add on i'm your naughty little princess hahas, cause i'm the youngest and when i want to buy things you won't buy for me i will get angry and when you buy for me i will be very happy just like the weather keep on changing sometime rain like cat and dogs sometime so sunny! hahas..


Thanks for letting me be your daughter!
xoxoxo.

Thank you!

Dad.. I had tons of things to tell you! But i don't know how to start..


First i want to thank you for giving me such a sweet memory for this 15 years although you had give me bitter memory also when i was going to turn 16 at 2008, that was the worst memory i had from you and its a nightmare i wish to wake up by then and told myself this is not true at all.


But the moment i saw you lay on the bed without moving and the doctor insert a tub into your mouth in order to let you breath i was so sad it breaks my heart, and before you were send to hospital at night i was at scolding the doctor at the noon time when we went to hospital for you radiorherapy and when i talking to you but i know you wasn't looking and me but my shirt cartoon.. Doctor say you will be fine and i believe, but it was turning worst when we reach home, you told mum that you saw chicken in the room which i don't see it and when your friend rang you up i pass you the phone and you was still talking to him when he already hung the phone i just want to know what you told him and who are you talking to after he hung up!


I went to your room but i stood outside the door i just want to piped at you see are you okay or not, great-grandaunt was there with me she say just rest and when she left i ask mum to eat something but none of us eat cause we too worry for you, i call third sis to ask her faster come back i told her you like don't know who i am already then she say call 4th uncle to asked him whether want to send you to hospital cause you seems to have no energy. And he say okay and he come over to my house asap and i keep going in to the room to ask you to go hospital as i know you wanna stay home and third sis asked you go hospital you don't want i keep telling you to go and finally you agree soon  2nd uncle and aunty was here too they ask mum to cook porriage for you to eat as you never eat your lunch, so after the porriage is okay i was feeding you and you give me a look that make me worry as you was going forward to somewhere and like someone is pulling you.. Elder sis rush back to see you also but you don't know who is she, so does second sis even her son clayton your grandson you also say he is girl we was shock and i know you already blur, ambulance came and they people ask you question to check if you are alert, and they say you having slight fever! So you was send to hospital.


When you was in hospital i keep praying you will be fine but i doesn't help at all, i keep thinking it was not ture it was not but the fact did happen and you are gone, time was 0710 in the morning and the whold night i just eat a sandwhich which is brought from 7-11 at NUH. I so hate NUH this is what happen, when we reach hospital you was at A&E then when you was the nurse use the mic to call us in and they keep repeating as the want us to go in do some paper work and you was awake wanna see us but you wanna see second sis to told her something  and the thing was ask her bring her son back as you was saying it late already, i told you the next day no school its already school holiday but you keep on saying go home its late.. And i went out call second sis go in as she was outside, then nurse stop us and she inside go people need to do some check-up we hae to wait outside so we wait and wait hoping the use the mic to call us again but they never they call you go canteen and wait as it will take a long time till she let us in to see you, but NO they NEVER use the mic to call us they went out to call and they still can say that no one was outside so they push you to ICU to insert the tube in for you to breath, WHAT THE HACK they do this without out permission and we told them you got things to tell second sis!!


Waited outside ICU was dame cold and we was so worry, we don't dare to call mum and told her this cause we hope you will be fine but end up doctor say you condition is not good we have to prepare that you will leave anytime.. So we call elder sis to told her about it we also call mum and 2nd uncle to bring mum over and elder sis arrived too we went into the ICU but no kids under 12 so we ask the doctor is it possible to let felix and clayton in as the really want to see you also and they allow so we was in there elder sis, elder bro in-law , second sis , second bro in-law , third sis and third bro in-law , mum , 4th uncle, me , clayton and felix was there too. we keep on calling you and you can't open your eye as they give you anaesthetic so you won't fell pain then the tube was in your mouth and i keep seeing tears rolling down from your eye i know you was say to see us cry and i keep on tell you not to wake up but end up you was gone.. we cry even louder you and i saw your heartbeat went to zero and when we shout at you i saw your heart beat went up but go back to zero again. you left!


Dad i know you want to say good bye and take care to us but you can't talk at all and you suddenly had alot of white hair, this wans't you cause you alway dye your hair black but out of sudden you had lots of white hair..


My heart was break as you had left us and you know what you leave on 8 march and 3 days later 11 march was my birthday i was dame sad to celebrate it and when my friend saw me in your funeral they told me that i was like having half of my soul left in my body and i totaly can't smile at all when i go back to school.. they talk to me is like talking to wall and a piece of wood i didn't reply them till they call me and tap my hand and i smile 3 second when they told me jokes..


Dad. you seen how i behave before you left and after you left, you know how much i miss you? you know i just hope that everything was just a nightmare and i wanna to wake up and you will be fine no more illiness your lung cancer is gone. But no it had already happen and the only thing i can do is remember you in heart and get a chance to talk to you in a dream..


Dad thanks for all the memory! BitterSweet memory..
xoxoxo..

For you.

How are you? Are you fine? Do you miss us?

Dad we miss you alot, you  have not been to my dream for a year, i had lots of things to tell you..


This is the second year that you had gone to heaven, how's the life there? No pain? No sadness? No worry?  but the only thing i know is you will not have any pain there as you had been suffer from lung cancer during end 0f 2007 till march 2008.


I hope you will see this and thanks for everything you had gave me this 16 years although you can't celebrate my 17 and 18 birthday i still know you are at myside and you will feel happy for me.. 


I know you had not give me any present but you will always buy whatever i want for me, i know sometime i'm too over i know that the things is so expensive i still want it and sometime i will show you my angryness as i don't like the things you ask me to do. 


Dad, hope you are find.. No Worry for us! We are fine! and WE LOVE YOU! :))