My small little dream.

Dad, you told me something once and i remember but i know it will not realize.. But i believe one day will if i won toto first prize..

When i was young, you brought me to cut ny hair  as you need to cut your hair too, so i tag along.. After that when we are about to go home i told you i want to eat durian and you brought for me and you forget to go and buy 4D, you will always buy if you remember, but that day you forget and our house unit number was the first prize when the 4D result was out.. If that day you brought it we will be staying in a bigger house eg. 5 room flat, 4 room flat but is upstairs and down stairs or those house which is three storey.

I dream before if we leave in those big house, when Chinese new year all our relatives come they will have space to seat.. Now we live in 4 room flat i know is big enough, but when come to Chinese new year the space in our house in not enough. hahas as we got alot of relative as you and mum comes from big family and i  got alot of cousin when they come our house is like full up with people and is like almost not enough space to move around.. 

If we stay in a three storey house, i want the bedroom at third floor and i want my own bathroom so i don't need to fight for bathroom if i need to use in urgently.. But i know one thing is we got bigger house more house to be done, so there is good and bad. Good is more space more easy to move about during chinese new year, more rooms and Bad is more house work to be done.. 

I can turn back time to the time where by we went to out and cut hair after that ask you buy 4D insted of durian. I know i love to eat but now i don't like to eat durian anymore i find it very smelly although is nice but i still don't eat much.. But i know if that time you had buy 4D you also won't spent all the money to buy a house you will save up right.. 

If there is oneday, i can earn alot of money i will buy a two storey HDB flat and stay. that's the only wish i want now, I went to cousin house and i love her house cause her house is two storey HBD flat and i love the house design it was nice. cause it had been renovated before so it look dame nice.. If i can buy that kind of house i will also renovated it till dame nice..

Well, dad this is my small little dream that i had keep in my heart.. :))

Love Nana..
xoxoxo

This is me.

Dad, thanks for everything that you tough me before.. I really appreciation!! :))


Things you taught me i never forget, and i know i didn't show it to others as they are not show me any respect so don't blame me for not respecting them too..


This is me, your daughter, your willfulness princess daughter. hahas. I might be naught and i can be good whenever i want to be..


Sometime I'm thinking why some people so brainless. Why can't they just treat people good so that they will treat them the same way. I admit i will do that when people treat me badly. I also wanted to treat them good but as i seen how they treat me i just do the same lorrhs. REFLECTION!


I know i need to change but it doesn't mean i need to put on a mask when i face people i hate right, i really feel like giving them one slap whenever i seen them doing things that is so unreasonable, but i know i can't as they are older then me i must respect them! But the problem is they don't know how to respect me i respect them also point less.


Dad, you know what i mean right. You are in heaven you can see it yourself when you are still around you also got seen it yourself before i didn't say anything wrong okays. yes i will hate the people till i forget their name but not their idiot face. Will they really look so idiot when they do/say things i hate, they might think this way, yes i say/do this purposely so that i will get angry or mad. I really did and they will say yes,i finally make her angry and see how selfish or how stingy I'm..

What's wrong being selfish and stingy? Don't tell me they are not that selfish and stingy lorrhs, they just put on a mask every time when they are outside to show people they are so generous. Yarrhs. GENEROUS, in order to show people only..

Well. dad This is me, your daughter, your willfulness princess daughter.
Like i say i will change to be good to people. :))

Love Nana.
xoxoxo.

Never be replace.

You will never be replace by anyone in my heart, you taught me lot's of things like how to be nice to people how to be a good girl and also how to do my homework if i don't know..

I remember once i ask you how to do my maths homework as i don't know how to do it, then after that i never ask anymore as you are not at home due to work..

When i was young you taught me so much things and you borough me to lot's of places and till now when i go those place it will remind me that i had been here before when i was young. hahas.

Although i forget lot's of things that happen when i was you because i had grown up and the memory of the childhood time has been past for me and i really forgotten ..

I might forget things that happen when i was young, i did tough of turning back the time to see everything again maybe i can change into a better person and have a good personality, and i can spend more time with you unlike now wanted to spend time with you also can't..

Sometime i had been thinking of can i turn back time and can i change everything? But the answer is i can't turn back time i only can look forward, turn back time and having time machine will only happen in movie and if there is one time machine in real life what will i do? I will go back to the time when i was young start all over again just to spend time with you, and i know if i get a chance to start all over again i might be sad again as i will go through everything again.. If i can go back and change everything all over again it might be things i want and everyone that i know now will be different..

I know this is what i have to gone through as time is call life-cycle to all humans and animal.. I don't wan tot be sad again i want to stay happy and i know will be find in heaven.. Taking care of us, and when i miss you i will look up to the sky to see the bright star and that will be you telling me to stay strong and face the upcoming problem! :))

Love Nana
xoxoxo.

I'm A Spoilt Kid!

To other who don't know me thinks I'm a very good girl, helpful girl.. actually I'm not. I only give them those though as i acting in front of them..

To those who know me well,  yes I'm a girl who like to throw temper, a nasty girl and like to scold people when i ask the person to help me do things yet do wrong when i already told he/she how to do it..

I'm a person who is really impatient, no patient person!

Yes, I'm such a person.

I'm spoilt girl.. I the youngest at home so i can be like this..

I wanna change and I'm changing to a perfect girl yet i failed, i just want to change why so hard just because I'm spoilt and might think that everything is right!

To you dad, you always see me behaving like this, you scold me i don't care i think that you are singing mum scold me i also think she is singing, but third sis scold me i don't dare to do it. Dad, you see I'm so naught.

Dad i really want to change, i want to control my temper, i don't wish to scold people.. I feel so bad after scolding them i just don't know how to apologise to them as i think no big deal i already scold you why must i apologise? The person who needs to apologise is you. This is how i always think.

I just want to change, i no longer a little kids anymore i can decided what i want and know what is right or wrong, but sometime i really behave like kids..

I feel so angry when people say either our family member or myself i feel like slapping them and ask them why they so kpo this is non of their business, I find them very irritating, love to gossip around when they heard something, i really want to have a remote control so i can shut them up so that they can't spread so much gossip or maybe i can deleted their memory of those gossip.

I know this won't happen, I know its time for me to change, Learn to control my temper and learn to be nice to people.. Well is their mouth they can say what every they like. i can't bother, but when i think back i feel like slapping them 100 time without failed!

Dad, i will change myself into a good girl, i can't promise i will change over a night but slowly... I will learn from mistake too.. I Will try! :))  

Love Nana.
xoxoxo

I will not forget.

Dad you taught me lots of things and i always show you in the other way, you teach me to be good i always be bad hahas. You will get angry but you always forget it by end of the day.

Sometime, i might think that I'm always right in doing things without listening to you, but i always know that you telling me this and that because you want me to learn but i will make mistake and you will just let me learn from mistake..

I really going to forget how you look, your voice and everything you done for me. I just want to remember it like so hard, I want you to enter to my dream more hard! Why? I almost forget how you look like i will think of how you look like but the memory of you is getting blur is like i might forget everything, the person i had seen for 15 years the image in getting blur. The voice of you that always asked me to wake up to help you do thing the way you tell me jokes,scold me and the voice you teach me magic trick is getting blur also..

I really scare i might forget how you look like and how your voice is like, i know its been two years i might forget but its scary as i forget it so fast.. 

Every time i go out i saw people wear the shirt which is similar to you i will keep looking at it, i remember that two years ago you pass away during my march school holiday when i go back to school after that holiday i saw a uncle wear a similar as you and he is taking the umbrella  which is similar to the want we had walking up to the stairs that we use to walk home before.. His background was like you i almost call him dad but i know its not you, i went to school and never say a single words when my friend ask me what happen.

What you trying to tell me? Sometime i will see people who look similar as you, are yoy trying to tell you that you are in heaven looking after at me all time asking me not to worry about you as you are super find now? If that is then why not you tell me in my dream i just want to talk to you and heard from you that you are find thats all..

Dad remember this we miss you!

Love Nana
xoxoxo

The memory of you II

I remember i learn to bake cookies from a friend she tough me how to bake the cookies over the phone and i was learning while you were out..

I was baking and mum was home and she ask what am i doing i say bake cookies but i like make a mess in the kitchen, when you were home you saw the cookie and i didn't ask you if you want to eat or not i just left it on the table to continue my things..

I bake a few time and i ask you try it to see if its nice or not, you took it and eat and say its nice and ask me bake more and my answer to you is okay. One day, you took the cookie to your friend without telling me and when you are home you told me that you took some cookie to your friend and then you told me that your friend say that cookie was nice and after that you ask me to bake more during Chinese new year.

So Chinese new year i bake those cookies and i find that you are the want eating more than others did and you told those relatives who come to our house to eat the cookie i made. I know that they just give face and eat and say yes its nice.. Lols. Enough for that i knew cause there is alot of things that we brought for Chinese new year which is much more nicer!

I remember the last time i bake cookies i throw it all away as i got no mood to make it and it taste so horrible i burn the cookie as i was make the rest and the worst part, you still eat it i feel so bad and i throw all away as its really burn and i don't want to see it anymore. Mum say i no mood make what also taste horrible, so yes it true she's not lying to me, that's how i burn the cookie...

It been two year and i never bake any cookie, as i know no one will eat it if i bake. So i never bake it anymore, not because of no want eating it is because i no time and i don't went to waste the flour,sugar,butter and time..

I wish i could back some cookies and bring it along when i visit you, yes to the tample to visit you i wish could bring it along but i didn't bake it for such a long time i scare i screw up again. But i mad something which i think its nice that was Potato Salad, its easy to make and i like to eat wanting to let you try when i go visit you someday in tample, eat it tell me if its nice in my dream okay..

P/S: Will try to bake cookies again i promise! :))

Love Nana..
xoxoxo

The memory of you.

The memory of you seems like going away, i almost can't remember the way you use to call me and the way you use to scold me..

I almost forget the way you look, i always want to remember all the things you done for me when you are around, today i remember tomorrow i will forget the more i want to rememeber the more i forget..

I hate this feeling i just want to keep the memory of you but i will forget it very soon. Dad i really miss you, i miss everything you done for me..

I will try my best to remember all things you done for me and i will always lock it in my heart and i will not forget your look..

Love Nana..
xoxoxo