My silly thought

I'm having this silly thought when i saw people having a big brother or a younger brother. Maybe even a twins.

I'm thinking why i don't have a twin sister or brother, hahas. Silly enough?

Maybe i have a brother before i was born but he went off to heaven when i never knows..

Hmm.. Silly thought of mine..

If i had a twins, maybe i won't be so boring, i can have someone who is same age as me study with me or even go out with me.. I had three elder sis so i won't complain but they are older then me..

Sometime I'm thinking if i had a twin who has the same look as me what will happen, maybe we can go out together and share things together, go school together and do silly staff together..

Silly thought..

I love my life now! Dad, thanks for letting me be your daughter..  and i have three wonderful sister, brother-in-law and four wonderful nephew! hahas.

Thanks alot.

I love being your daughter!

Love Nana,
xoxoxo.

Happy Birthday.

Dad, Happy Birthday to you.

Today its your birthday hope you will enjoy your day in heaven.

Whats your birthday wish?

Hope that everyone is healthy and happy always?

Maybe.

So fast 2010 its ending and its gonna trun into the third year that you leaving us..

Time pass so fast..

I miss all the things that we do together. eg. wash car, go out eat and bring me around buy things for the house.

I miss the fun..

How are you?

Please come to me dream okays?

Love Nana,
xoxoxo

I'm back

Sorry dad, i didn't update this blog much as i really don't know what i can tell you..

Too many things happen everyday, happy or sad still means alot to us..

Dad, i had dream of you but is like you telling me things which i really don't understand it..

Today i had a dream of you, but i didn't see you the only thing i see was bear!

Huh? what it means??

Dad, i really miss you alot.. Which part of heaven are you at?

Next year march is gonna be you third year anniversary, Yes it the third want..

Time pass so fast that i sometime will forget how long you have left us.

Dad, no matter what i will still love you!

I hope i still can be your daughter in next life..

p/s: dad please be a rich man in next life, enought of being poor/normal life its time for us to have good life.. i know i'm very greedy but i just want you to have a good life too..

Hahahas..

Love Nana,
xoxoxo

Thanks.

Dad. thanks alot for looking after clayton.

He is recovering fast and everything is alright...

He will be going back to school on november as doctor given him a mc..

Thanks for looking after him..

Love Nana,
xoxoxo.

Long post?

Sorry dad, i had not been updating this blog..

Kinda busy and i got sick again.. sour throat again and again cough never go away..

Dad, your grandson clayton was in hospital on tuesday cause he got Appendicitis and he had a small opreation.

Now he is back home and i want you to look after him and let him get well soon!!

Dad, i know you had been trying your best to take care all of us.

Thanks dad,

Love Nana,
xoxoxo.

Finally Recover!!

Thanks dad, thanks for watching over me!!

I had recover but i still coughs at night and some time at day time..

Feel very tired this few day cause the med is making me so weak and evertime wanna sleep...

I'm really happy that i'm recover and thanks alot dad...

Love Nana,
xoxoxo..

Save money!

I remember once you told me to save money and i did..

You always give me $1 for me to put in my piggy bank..

And i always have alot of it with me..

You will always ask me to keep it and use it if i need to buy things i want..

But i never took it out untill i need it..

I miss the way you give me your money till you got no more coin left...

I wanna say, dad thanks for giving me the coins and thanks for teaching me how to save my money as i always use it to buy those things which i don't need at all..

Love Nana,
xoxoxo..

Sick

I sick!

Dad, please look after me okays!

My leg already recover!

Now I'm having cough and sore throat plus nose allergy!

Please watch over me!

Love Nana,
xoxoxo

Recover

Yes, my leg had receover, thanks dad for looking after me..

But now i'm having sore throat.. PAIN..

I hope i can faster recover..

Dad, please watch after me

Love Nana,
xoxox.

The way you help me when i injure myself

Dad, i miss the way you help me massage when my leg is injure..

I remember when i sprained my ankle you will help me massage with the Chinese med which i the smell alot..

Now i want you to help me also can not anymore.. Cause you are no longer around..

And yes, i sprained my ankle for no reason.. And it hurt alot..

I can't walk properly now, and the only thing i can do is putting salonpas patch on my ankle and hopping it will relef the pain fast..

Dad, if you are around i think you will help me massage my leg and i won't feel so pain now..

I miss the way you help me massage when i injure leg.. Although the way you massage is pain but i will feel painless the next day..

Now i only can think of the way you massage and i have to do it myself now..

Love Nana,
xoxoxo

Your look.

I think i really forgtten your look.

I had been looking at you since the past 16 years.

But now i feel like i had forget how you look..

I feel so sad that i had forget how you look bit by bit...

I really want to keep a copy of your look in my memory.

But i think i forget it...

I miss your look..

I miss the way you are angry and happy..

I really want to remember everything of you..

Dad, i miss you.. :((

Love Nana,
xoxoxo

Your Voice.

I think i had forgotten how your voice like..

I miss your voice alot, and i wish i can hear it again..

I know i can't hear it anymore and i know i had forgetting it very soon..

Even your look, i might forget one day. I miss you!

I wish that you will come to my dream every night and i can talk to you.

But you didn't come since that day i dream of you..

Why?

You never miss me?

You don't wish to talk to me?

Anyway...

I miss you!

Love Nana,
xoxoxo

You are not there anymore.

Dad, you will not be there for me anymore when i need you..

You come to my dream yesterday, and you never come again anymore...

I had so many things to tell you but you were not there anymore..

I know i didn't be good girl most of the time, but i do listen to what you say..

I really hope you will come my dream and talk to me..

I had alot of things to tell you, I wanna ask you question.

You heard me? Please dad, come to my dream!

I miss you!

Love Nana,
xoxoxo

Yes! i dream of you today.

Dad, you finally come to my dream, but i didn't ask you anything..

The only thing you told me is i wanna eat anything or not and you ask me eat Maggie mee and you told me you will cook for me..

Weird, you will never cook Maggie mee for me to eat, since when you learn it?

But at least i had dream of you, can you come to my dream more often?

I got so many things to tell you..

Dad, i really miss you...

Please come to my dream again!!

Love Nana,
xoxoxo.

Will I see you?

Dad, i always ask myself this question,

Will i get to see you when i go to heaven, will you come and pick me when my time is up?

I had been thinking, will you?

I wanted to go with you, to your house in heaven and stay with you when my time is up.. I want you to bring me around the world..

I know the time is not up but we will hae to go through this so when my time up please come and pick me i don't want others to come and pick me...

I know i'm very silly to say this now but no matter what we had to know this day will come, we must be prepare..

So now i just wanna to say if my time is up, remember to come and pick me up!

Love Nana,
xoxoxo

P/S:  I"m just saying IF one day i'm no longer around!! I STILL ALIVE! :))

Two year without you

Its been two year plus without you at home.

I start to think of you were overseas working and very busy.

I know that you will not come back anymore.

But i stil hope that you will come to my dream.

I wonder where you have been this two year, how are you?

Have you seen grandma & grandpa?

Are you enjoying yourself in heaven??

I hope you are find

If can please let me dream of you..

I miss you.

Love Nana,
xoxoxo

Celebration without you.

Dad, remember last time you love to buy lantern for me to play?

Well not all time, but when you are free you will bring me out to see the light decoration at Chinatown.

You will go buy your favorite moon cake and on lunar 8/15 you will eat the moon cake and drink a cup of tea..

I really miss the time you bring us out to orchard road to see the light decoration on CNY, Christmas and moon cake festival..

I really miss the place you bring me go before , you will drive and i don;t take mrt or bus go save my trip money, but when you are no longer around i had not been to those place for long time to see the light decoration..

I will remember all the place you brought me go before..

I will not forget...

I promoise..

Love Nana,
xoxoxo.

I remember..

Dad, i remember something which i really don't know if it really happen to me..

I remember that time you just pass away, and i was holding on to your phone in order to contact your friend so i call one by one and inform then..

I can't remember when is it, morning 7am i wanted to call one of your friend but i call her at 7 plus but at night when she come she asked me if i had call her earlier on or not i say not its just 5 mins before i call her and she already received a call from your phone.

She told me that no one was talking and she keep calling your name to ask was that you...But she told me no one reply, she wasn't aware that you are no longer around so when i told her at the next call then she found out you already pass away.. so that night when she came she show me her phone and it show that her phone rang before i call her, she told me maybe you were looking for her and want to talk to her as you will call her and ask how is or is she busy when you are free...

Few days later, i was sleeping in my room alone then i remember i kick my pillow on the floor and i never pick it up i was to scare so i cover myself up with the blanket. In morning i heard mum voice in my room then i open up my eyes and i saw the pillow was on my bed and my blanket was no longer the want i use at night.

The blanket i use at night was blue, i did have one pink blanket on my bed i never use it i just put it aside, so when i was awake, the moment i ask my mum was, is that pillow on the floor when you were in? she replied no. then i say ok never mind. again i saw my blanket from blue become pink more shocking...

I was wondering i change the blanket myself? But i didn't move at all i don't even wake up to go washroom or what how can i change my blanket i don't sleepwalk as well..

So i told my mum about it and my aunt then i got the answer is, dad, you are the one who pick up my pillow and you are the want who change my blanket..

I wasn't scare at the moment i was shock and i really don't know you help me change my blanket..

I know you are home to visit us that day.. Dad, thank you...

I miss you alot..

Love Nana,
xoxoxo.

Thing that remind me of you.

Dad, every time i saw the things that belong to you i will start thinking of you..

Even when i went out i saw someone back ground i also thought is you as the person had a similar back ground as you..

When i went to the room that you use to sleep i had be thinking that if you are around you will still sleeping in the room and i still can see you everyday.. But now i only see a empty room and some of your belonging

Mum, told me that we have to keep some of your belonging because next year when your third year anniversary we have to burn all your belonging to you, i hope you will received it..

And i remember when you pass away, they call us to keep the shirt you wore when you are around so we do keep the shirts that you wear..

I really miss the time you brought me out and you love to wake me up to eat the food you brought at night and morning..

Sorry dad, cause sometime i will give you cold shoulder as i don't want to eat anything at night as i wanna sleep due to i'm tired.. But sometime i will still wake up to eat..

You love to call home to ask me if i wanna eat anything and i will use to say yes and sometime no.. hahas. I love the food you brought for me and i will always remember..

Dad, i hope that you are find in heaven..

I will still remember how you look and how you sound like. Although i will be forgetting it soon..

Love Nana,
xoxoxo

There will not be any thing from you anymore

Yes, i will get nothing from you anymore.

I face the fact you are no longer alive and giving things i want anymore..

Dad, i want to thank you for giving me all things i had when i was young and i know that i'm a spoild kid who want this and that..

I know you had been giving me things in the limite you can and i always want more of it without using my brain to think its cheap or expensive..

There will not be any thing from you anymore, these two year i'm really find and i had keep those things you give me before so that means alot to me already!

Thank you dad,

Love Nana,
xoxoxo.